Jerry Hall’s kids are treating her like a child, parenting a parent comes to us all

There is a dreaded moment in life when an ageing parent realises that their adult children see them as a total liability – or let’s take it a step further – even a joke. The adult children start fussing around, acting like a concerned parent, tut-tutting at their irresponsible behaviour and life choices and the parent feels upset and frustrated that they are being treated like a child.

And that’s what has seemingly happened to Jerry Hall, 70, the former model and ex-wife of Mick Jagger, who has revealed that their four children, Elizabeth, 42, James, 41, Georgia May, 34, and Gabriel, 28, have made it known that they are concerned about her hurting herself as she appears on BBC Celebrity Traitors, which airs later this week.

According to Hall, in an interview published by the Press Association, her brood advised her: “Mum, don’t do anything dangerous!” “They worry,” Hall added. “They’re like, ‘You think you’re younger than you are. You and Dad are always doing things that you did in your twenties that maybe you shouldn’t be doing now!’”

It’s a case of role reversal – when we become our parents’ parents – and it happens to all of us in the end.

It’s a psychologically difficult situation to navigate for both the adult child and the parent. The role reversal happens without any training, little preparation and often no time to adjust. Rather than a parent telling a child what to wear, what to do, or even what to eat, the adult child starts doing the same to an older parent, which can be especially hard when that parent doesn’t even consider themselves either elderly or frail.

And as our parents live longer, this role reversal is on the rise. About 3 per cent of people in the UK – an estimated 1.3 million adults aged 16 to 64 – now make up the “sandwich generation”; people who simultaneously raise dependent children and provide unpaid care for an older relatives, according to the Office for National Statistics (ONS).

It happened to me when I cared for my elderly dad, who died in 2024 aged 92, and I experienced first-hand what having the tables turned meant – infuriating conversations on both sides of the fence.

Sherry King, director of Sandwich Generation Support, tells me how tricky it can be to navigate old age for both parents and children. “As the adult child, the worry can come out as telling them what to do or taking over,” she says. “It can be really difficult knowing when to step in and when to step back, especially when you feel responsible if something goes wrong.”

For the parent, having the child you’ve spent your life looking after suddenly looking out for you, or even questioning your decisions, can also be a really difficult adjustment.

“It can feel like you’re losing some of your independence and dignity,” says King. “And I hear so often that parents don’t want to ask for help because they don’t want to be a burden, particularly when they know their children are already juggling work, children and everything else.”

It can be a slow burn, too. In my dad’s case, it quickly escalated from worrying about him and supporting him in some decision-making to stepping in so that he didn’t have to go into a care home. We were lucky that he could afford private care for his physical needs, but, ultimately, I was the one shouldering the main responsibility for the logistics of everything. In the end, I realised I had the hardest job in the world – I had become my dad’s “parent”.

Dr Athina Vlachantoni, Professor of Gerontology and Social Policy at the University of Southampton, says this “role reversal” might not always be easy, but it is very natural.

“Providing support to parents can be the result of feelings of reciprocity because they cared for you earlier in life, and feelings of altruism because you want to care for them without expecting anything in return, or feelings of obligation because you think that one should care for their parents, or indeed a combination of such feelings,” she says.

One interesting piece of research her team conducted looked at whether children who receive support from their parents earlier in life – such as when they had young children and needed childcare support from the grandparents – are more likely to be there for their parents later in life.

“We found that, actually, having received support from your parents earlier in life makes an adult only slightly more likely to provide support to their parents, compared to a child who didn’t receive such support,” she tells me, with one caveat. “Women who received help with childcare, and men who received help with accommodation, earlier in their life were more likely to care for their parents later in life,” says Professor Vlachantoni

American psychotherapist Annie Wright, a relational trauma specialist and author of the upcoming book The Everything Years: Navigating the Pressure and Promise of Your Thirties, however, offers a word of warning.

“I’d be careful with the idea that we become our parents’ parents,” she tells me. “The direction of care can change without the parent’s adulthood disappearing. You may now be organising appointments, shopping or transport, but needing help doesn’t make your mother or father a child. The aim is to support their independence, not replace every decision with your own.”

To reduce tension, she advises starting with a specific concern rather than a verdict about their competence, and asking what they want to keep doing themselves and where they’d welcome help. “Speak directly to them, not about them while they’re in the room, and don’t mistake a choice you dislike for an inability to choose,” she adds.

However, for someone who managed a parent’s moods or crises as a child, it may feel like being called back to a job they never got to leave. “That’s different from ordinary adult caregiving,” she says. “The present demands may reactivate an old expectation that their own needs must always come last.”

And if your parent was neglectful or hurtful, that’s another painful contradiction. “Then it’s like, ‘I’m being asked to give you the care I needed from you,’” she says. “A parent’s vulnerability doesn’t automatically repair that history.”

Being supportive and caring of parent in their sevenites or beyond, is, of course, very different from becoming a carer. It’s here when things can get really difficult and resentment can creep in on both sides, which can be another trap.

It’s important to delegate. “This isn’t only a communication problem; care takes time, money and people.”

At just 70, Hall is living alone and, by all intents and purposes, leads a fulfilling and independent life. In a September 2026 interview, she said that, following her two divorces, she is enjoying being single and has no plans to look for another partner.

Her children might worry that Hall might think she is younger than she is during her stint on Celebrity Traitors, but the fact that she is appearing is, in fact, a blessing. As someone who spent years being a helicopter child-parent to my dad, I wish I had worried a little less and let him gallivant around while he still could.

As King says, “the change can creep up on families”. Perhaps that is the lesson for Hall’s children, too. Their instinct to worry about their mum is understandable, but at 70 she is still entitled to take risks, have adventures and make her own decisions about whether she’s putting herself in danger or not. Hall clearly sees Celebrity Traitors as a wild adventure she couldn’t resist.

And perhaps, rather than worrying about her, her children should be pleased that she is still there saying yes. Sometimes loving a parent is about letting them get on with living their one precious life.