I’d say, “This isn’t funny anymore,” but I cracked that one last time. And I used the one about “letting somebody else have a chance to win a World Cup, since we have four of them at home — as many as England, Spain and France combined — and we don’t want to be greedy,” back in 2018.

So where do you turn to now that Italy have failed to qualify for three straight World Cups, something no other World Cup winning nation has ever done? Especially at a time when the World Cup field was increased by 50%, from 32 to 48 teams?

I’m not sure, but I am sure about what you don’t need after Tuesday’s defeat on penalties against Bosnia and Herzegovina.

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You don’t need massive think pieces about the decline of Italian football and calls for root-and-branch reviews. No, it’s not because Serie A today isn’t as good as it was in the 1990s that Italy failed to qualify. Serie A was no better — it was arguably worse — when Italy reached the final of the Euros in 2012 and 2021, winning the latter.

You don’t need Gennaro Gattuso, the Italy coach (for the time being, anyway) talking up his team’s heart and effort and how they didn’t deserve to go out. Nobody can fault their heart and effort, but guess what? Bosnia showed just as much, if not more. And they were coming off 120 minutes plus penalties against Wales away from home, with a 40-year-old up front. (You want to talk “heart” and “effort” today? Look up Edin Dzeko.)

Or Gattuso lamenting their missed chances and episodes. Sure, if Moise Kean buries his counterattack in the second half, or Fede Dimarco finishes with his weaker foot, or Francesco Pio Esposito’s header sneaks past Nikola Vasilj, Italy qualify. Maybe they qualify if Tarik Muharemovic gets a yellow card instead of a red. And — cruel irony! — if Gianluigi Donnarumma hadn’t gotten to Dzeko’s finish, parrying it into the path of Haris Tabakovic for his goal, Italy would have advanced because the ball came off Dzeko’s elbow. But so what? Donnarumma had to make 10 saves, several of them world-class. Bosnia took 30 shots and missed a bunch of opportunities too.

The fact is, it’s not that deep. Italy may not be stacked with talent like France or Spain or England, but they had more than enough quality to qualify. They’re 13th in the FIFA rankings, for goodness’ sake. Nor is this an aging team (one starter, Matteo Politano, is over the age of 30) or a disinterested one (effort and application were not the issue).

The reality is that they made life mighty difficult for themselves at the start of the qualifying campaign, losing early on to Norway (thanks in part to some wretched decisions) which meant that, realistically, avoiding the playoffs was never really in their hands after that. Once you go into the one-and-done format, stuff can happen and moments attain outsized importance.

Alessandro Bastoni may be one of the best central defenders around, but his boneheaded red card after 41 minutes is a big reason Italy will be watching on TV this summer. At 11 vs. 11, you would have liked their chances not because they were playing well — to that point, the Azzurri had managed just two shots on goal for an xG of 0.15 — but because, with Italy 1-0 up at the time, there was a clear pathway.

Keep the ball, make Bosnia and Herzegovina chase you, tire them out, make your experience count. That’s what Gattuso does moderately well: simple game plans, playing the percentages and lots of fire, brimstone and arm-waving on the sidelines.

A man down, however, it all went out the window. Italy went into deep prevent mode and invited the Bosnian pressure. And for the players and the tens of millions of Azzurri fans, the game turned into an 80-minute nightmare directed by Esmir Bajraktarevic and Kerim Alajbegovic. It was a simple plan from a simple coach in Gattuso who — beyond sideline cheerleading — offered very little value during his time in charge.

Which, lest we forget, wasn’t long at all: Gattuso had no more than 15 sessions with his players in his 10 months at the helm. Though to be fair, you can’t help but wonder if more time might have given him more opportunities to screw things up. There’s no denying it: Gattuso didn’t help himself.

When you have better players than the opposition, the best strategy generally is to make that talent count, taking the game to them. And as we saw, Gattuso didn’t do that, possibly because he was spooked by the early lead they were gifted by the hosts, possibly because he was paralyzed by fear after the red card.

Are there structural problems that inhibit the growth of Italian football? Sure. You could cite too much emphasis on results and tactical nous over development and technical ability at the youth level. You could point to the fact that Serie A clubs are more reluctant to trust homegrown players than those in other leagues, creating a “blockage in the pipeline” to first-team football, or the fact that clubs do little or nothing to help the national side (witness Gattuso’s inability to organize even a two-day training camp).

But they’re not the reason Italy didn’t qualify for the World Cup. Bad decisions and bad performances in qualifying left them with margins that were far slimmer than they should have been. Bosnia and Herzegovina’s heart, grit and enthusiasm (and some missed penalties) did the rest.

Not that it lessens the hurt, in any way, shape or form, of course. When you’ve won four World Cups, believe me, it hurts even more.

The Scots have recovered from opening defeats by seven-time champion Niklas Edin’s Swedes and Tsuyoshi Yamaguchi’s Japanese.

Since then, only John Shuster’s US have finished within two shots of the Scots as they have reeled off seven big scores, with Xu Xiaoming’s Chinese, ranked 12th in the world, the latest victims.

Following on from Tuesday’s 10-4 defeat of Germany, Whyte’s rink never looked back after stealing one at the opening end.

However, it was scoring five at the sixth end, to take an 8-3 lead, that was the pivotal moment as the Chinese suffered a sixth defeat out of nine.

The Swiss warmed up for their meeting with the Scots with a 9-2 defeat of South Korea to head the table along with the Swedes, both of whom have won eight and lost two of their matches.

Matt Dunstone’s Canadians and the Scots have seven wins and two defeats before their final games on Wednesday.

Stefano Spiller’s Italy rink have seven wins and three defeats along with the USA.

Whyte – along with Robin Brydone, Euan Kyle and Craig Waddell – are representing Scotland after Mouat’s world number one rink elected not to compete after their silver medal at the Olympics in Cortina this year.

With Canada’s Olympic champion, Brad Jacobs, and Switzerland’s Yannick Schwaller similarly sitting this one out, fourth-ranked Dunstone and Whyte, in fifth, are the top-ranked teams competing in the United States.

Shuster is eighth, Edin is currently ranked 13, with Hoesli in 18th and Spiller in 43rd, while Scotland’s next opponents, Norway’s Haarstad, are down in 49th.

Slegers described an “unbelievable performance” in the second leg because of the fightback Arsenal knew Chelsea would give.

Goalkeeper Daphne van Domselaar returned to the starting XI and put in a stunning performance, denying Sam Kerr on several occasions in the second half.

England defender Lotte Wubben-Moy was a rock at the back in the absence of Leah Williamson and Arsenal were not shaken when fellow centre-half Steph Catley went off with a calf injury at the end of the first half.

In-form striker Alessia Russo was full of tricks and flicks. The England international usually keeps touches on the ball to a minimum but she did what it took to escape tricky situations when pressure was building.

Slegers said her team were prepared to “suffer” in order to get what they wanted and it paid off in the end.

“It’s suffering for something you love. I think that’s what the team did really well. They were prepared for a difficult scenario and for momentum shifts,” she added.

“In the first 15 minutes, potentially at the end of the game when things changed again, they just stayed in the ‘controlled middle’, as we call it.

“They stayed in the game and were constantly in control of whatever scenario or momentum swing. They did their job. Mentally we were in control.

“Of course, we wanted to stop them getting chances and in an ideal world there are no shots but it was two really good teams going against each other.”

Former England captain Steph Houghton said Arsenal were “better in big moments” and deserved to progress on the balance of the tie.

Brighton forward Fran Kirby added: “Arsenal allowed Chelsea to have the ball, they were comfortable in their block and defensively worked really hard.

“With the opportunities that they had, they could even have gone on and won the game, so they will be really proud of the performance.

“It showed a different side to Arsenal. It showed what they can do when they have to defend.”

Arsenal will hope to book their place in the final when they take on the winner between Lyon and Wolfsburg – who play each other on Thursday night.

The final takes place on 23 May in Oslo, Norway.